I returned from LA a couple days ago and just no longer know what to do with myself. This isn't as a result of me having to say goodbye to all of the friends that I made and met while I was up there at vidcon.
I know that for sure.
No, I haven't even been able to think of that at all. My mind is way too compartmentalized and I can only deal with one problem (pain) at a time.
My best friend wants nothing to do with me any more and I have only the slightest idea why.
She won't even talk to me. She's blocked me and avoided me the last couple days I had in LA.
I've broken down, cried and feel all around vulnerable at the moment.
I'm never hungry anymore, I find myself breathing heavily (loss of breath/forgetting to breath) and I honestly just feel so ill.
I don't even wanna leave me house, far less see my irl friends anymore. Anxiety everywhere.
This needs to be resolved. To think one person has so much control over me it really scares me. I thought I knew who I was but nothing makes sense anymore. I've never felt this way before.
I could go on for hours on here but I feel as though it'd get too pitiful and I hate posts like this so that's it. I really hope things get better soon or I don't know what'll happen.
Here's a vlog I just did. It's not really too related but yea. Lovin' that awkward ass thumbnail.
~Seebs
p.s with regards to another person completely - What would be the best way for me to send you your $80? You probably won't see this but if you do please let me know. Also I miss you too.
1 seebs:
wtf you sad idk you never realy seemed like you could get sad you just seemed like super positive oh well anyways you can't let just one person have control over your life you can't just stay in that depression you gotta go do something if you don't feel like doing anything just watch some funny videos or something hope you get bette
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